Healing is a process. It has ups and downs. Highs and lows. Goods and bads. Procrastinating in that process of healing interferes and slows down the process. It is outright avoiding something that you need to deal with that you just won’t. That’s not classified as a PEAK or VALLEY afterwards. It’s you not calling yourself out on your own BS. If not you, then who? Recognize your own self destructive stalemates and decide that NOW is the time to break them.
But first WHY?
Why won’t you do what it is that you aren’t doing?!? The thing about procrastination is almost all of it leads back to some negative event that we’d rather not think about- that event led us to believe we we not worthy or successful in some way so we avoid doing it. The problem is...although YOU don’t want to think about it because it obviously doesn’t make you feel good about something that happened or something that you did, failed at, said, didn’t say but wish that you had, or a way someone made us feel like when we had to do something when we were young...this won’t go away just because YOU refuse to do what you are associating with that memory. It will sit there reminding you how ridiculous it is that YOU just won’t do it. The thing is WE are adults now. Adults adult so doing these things should be easy right? Housework, the garbage, laundry, apply for new jobs, move to new places, go to a different church?!? We can choose to NEVER do those again. That would solve it because we could ASSIGN someone else to do it like our kids for the chores, never change employers, take risks or ask anyone out. But it would still be there in your mind- that sense of FEAR(false evidence appearing real). Some day something else would trigger that unresolved issue. Believe me- it won’t go away. You could DO IT, and be mindless. Act like it isn’t really an issue. No problem. You’re a pro at not “thinking” about things because that’s what got you HERE. Date mindlessly with people who don’t “challenge” you, take jobs that are below you with no challenges, and live like a slob if you like.
Or you could DEAL WITH IT. Get rid of what’s been festering for 25 years. Why don’t you want to DO THIS in the first place?!? ANSWER__________(Here is where I would seriously journey or speak to a supportive person or counselor).
That option may take more out of you, but it may be the option with the greatest rewards. You can resolve the problem once and for all. This can lead to a HUGE breakthrough moment for you because procrastination is a self destructive behavior. Avoiding pain is delaying the inevitable reaction to it. It’s more of a slow timed release pain that you make yourself suffer from every single day. This is the self fulfilling prophecy of “I’m not worthy” of...that new job, nice car or great looking guy.
So maybe it’s just that you really hate that basement, doing dishes or taking out the garbage, or working as a support tech answering calls with a Masters Degree. That could very well be true. Getting in disagreements over chores and leaving them until someone else finally does them but then resents you is ok too. That’s completely your call, but it’ll be back next week and the week after that. So Why not look at WHY you really feel that way and do things without guilt shame, anger or remorse because you’re doing them on your time and because you don’t mind doing that thing. Post for that job today, don’t wait until the “perfect” job opening comes up, or ask that new guy for coffee ☕️or try that new hairstyle this week. It’s your contribution to your family or home or community and it’s something YOU WANT TO DO FEAR-LESS-LY. Now. What do you procrastinate about?!? Post on CleanLiving Facebook page and let’s talk about what we can’t bring ourselves to do and why?